Life after an abortion: it's okay to remember

There is a unique backstory in every person who decides to have an abortion. There are of course, connecting commonalities across the world between us and our choice, but overall, our stories are our own.

The reason I start here is because I want to make it clear that we at Rouge Doulas respect your choice and how you hold it. The intent of this share is to give light to those who may feel challenged when they recall their abortion experience and for those who are unsure how to be in their life after an abortion.

Dear Reader, It is okay to Remember. Esta bien Recordar. Ba laifi a Tuna. C'est bien de se Souvenir.

If you have ever:

• Felt uncomfortable reflecting on your abortion experience, but still have a desire to address it.

• Thought you had made peace with your choice, but found that years later it has continued coming into your mind in a way that feels unsettling or odd.

• Tucked away your experience because of the circumstances you were in, but are now in a more optimal situation to pull it back out.

Here are some ways to begin again:

• Try to hold your memory in front of you, instead of within you. Visualize this memory, experience, and energy as an observer. Acting as an observer can help ease the initial discomfort.

• Name your memory. I named mine Lily. To me, a lily represents what it meant to me to have my abortion.

• Find a trusted person (friend, family member, counselor, etc...) to share your memory with that will hold the space you desire.

• Write it out! Pencil and paper, email yourself, send yourself texts, record yourself! If you're looking for a guide to follow, here are two wonderful options:

  • Abortion Resolution Workbook by Peg Johnston

  • Your Abortion Guide by Rouge Doulas (this has 4 parts and Part 4 is helpful if you already had your abortion).

• Contact a Rouge Doula - even if you had an abortion years ago, we are here to help you emotionally process.

Lastly, a gentle reminder:

Closure does not mean you will never remember again.

Closure is defined by you.

Your abortion is a chapter in your life, and your life is important.

So, if it feels like you want to remember.

Remember.

You are not alone and we are here to support you around the different realms of abortion. Consider our blog posts a safe space you can revisit again and again.

Talk to a Doula about life after an abortion

If you need to talk about your life after an abortion with someone who is versed in post-abortion trauma or emotional counseling, we have doulas who can help. Contact us today to get matched with a Rouge Doula.